It’s nearly the holiday season with numerous holidays to celebrate from Thanksgiving through the New Year. The holidays can be a beautiful time of year surrounded by loved ones as you enjoy delicious food, exchange gifts, and celebrate a new year to come. If you’re recently divorced, the holidays will differ from what you’re used to.
You were probably used to spending the holidays with your ex as a family, surrounding yourself with their family members and friends as well as your own and the children you share. So what will the holidays look like now that you’re separated or divorced? That’s up to you to decide.
If you share children with your ex then you’ll most likely need to see them at some point during the holiday season. Keep reading to learn how to survive the holidays with your ex so you can make it an enjoyable holiday season for the entire family.
Focus on the Kids
The holiday season is an exciting time of year but even more so through the eyes of our children. Separating from or divorcing your ex-spouse is extremely difficult, however, put all of your focus on the kids this upcoming holiday season to make it merrier. There are plenty of events you can take them to from seeing the lights in downtown Kansas City, to festivals, lighting ceremonies, and parades. There is plenty to keep them busy!
Try New Traditions
When you were still together you probably adopted some of your ex’s traditions, giving up some of your traditions to make room for new ones. Now that you’re living your life as a divorcee or are separated from your ex, try some new traditions. Of course, if you have children together then keep traditions that they are used to and fond of. Adding in some new traditions can make the holidays even more magical, allowing you to explore new things. Maybe you want to get a different type of Christmas tree, try some new holiday dishes, or decorate ornaments. Whatever the case, have fun adopting some new traditions!
Communicate with Your Ex
If you don’t have children together then you probably don’t need to communicate with your ex that often. On the contrary, if you share children then you will need to communicate with your ex for the rest of your life. While you are no longer spending the holidays together waking up in the same home as a married couple, you will need to share your children’s time each holiday season. Improving communication skills and having a successful co-parenting relationship is paramount and should always be the goal when it comes to your children.
Communicate your plans for the kids this holiday season and let your ex know about events you want to take the kids to, family gatherings you’d like them to attend, and any other things you have planned this holiday season. It will allow them to plan their adventures with the kids. Who knows – they may be interested in an event that you are. You could always try taking the kids together to an event or spending Christmas morning together so the kids can feel some normality amid separation or divorce. Coming together and communicating the entire holiday season will help you both enjoy it a little more.
Rely on Family and Friends
Separating from or divorcing your ex is a challenging time in life. The holidays can exacerbate any feelings of loneliness or sadness. According to the National Alliance on Mental Illness, 66% of people feel some type of loneliness during the holiday season. As you adjust to spending the holidays away from your ex, rely on family and friends for comfort. Be open and honest about how you feel so they can help you through if you’re having a difficult time. Communicating any feelings of sadness during the holiday season with family and friends can be a tremendous help.
Know that it will get Easier
If this is your first holiday season as a divorcee, know that it will get easier with time. You’ll adjust to not spending the entire holiday season with your ex. Though you may feel lonely or sad at first, you’ll find yourself enjoying your new life. Change can be scary, however, it can be an exciting time to rediscover yourself post-divorce.
It may seem daunting, but you can survive the holiday season with your ex. Focusing on the kids, adopting new traditions, communicating with your ex, and relying on family and friends are all some ways you can make the holidays an easier time as you navigate divorce and separation.
If you are going through the divorce process and are looking for a family law attorney in Kansas (in and around the Leawood area) or a family law attorney in Kansas City and the surrounding area, The Law Office of Young, Kuhl & Frick, LLC can help. We’re dedicated to the practice of family law and can help guide you through any family law matter, keeping your best interests in mind. With over fifty-four years of combined legal experience, our family law firm is a team skilled in negotiation and litigation, handling family law matters from the most complex to the most straightforward.
We have offices in Lee’s Summit, Missouri, and Leawood, Kansas (consultations by appointment only). In addition to our two physical locations, our firm’s family and divorce attorneys have practiced in Jackson, Clay, Cass, Lafayette, Platte County, Missouri, and Johnson County, Kansas. Contact our family law firm today to schedule a consultation – we can meet in person or face-to-face via Zoom.