The most common reason for divorce filing we hear about celebrities and influencers is irreconcilable differences. While irreconcilable differences are a common filing reason for couples divorcing, there are many other reasons why they choose to do so.
Missouri is a modified no-fault state, meaning the court will grant a divorce if the marriage is irretrievably broken and the marriage cannot be preserved. Kansas law is slightly different, and the grounds for divorce are as follows:
- Failure to perform a material marital duty or obligation
- Incompatibility by reason of mental illness or mental incapacity of one or both spouses (Kansas Office of Revisor of Statutes, 23-2701, 2023)
Whether you’re considering filing for divorce or just curious, continue reading as we discuss eight common reasons for divorce (in no particular order) and why a couple may choose to file.
- Unable to Get Along
Couples who can’t seem to agree on anything often have a hard time getting along. They’ll frequently find themselves arguing over more significant issues and eventually over little mundane problems day in and day out. If a couple feels they can’t get along and have tried to see eye-to-eye, they may feel like the marriage is irretrievably broken or that they’re incompatible.
- Lack of Commitment
Lack of commitment isn’t the same thing as infidelity. It can occur when one partner or both spouses fail to commit to the other. It can be failing to show up for important meetings or dates, not taking into account the requests of the other spouse, among other things. Lack of commitment often leaves one or both spouses feeling unseen or desired.
- Adultery / Infidelity
Kansas courts will grant a divorce if the marriage is broken, so there is no reason to air dirty laundry like an affair in front of the judge. Though the state does allow fault-based divorce filings, they must be accompanied by solid proof and can be more work than it’s worth. Missouri will also grant a divorce if the marriage is broken, so adultery or infidelity doesn’t need to be documented. However, misconduct may have an impact on spousal maintenance and the division of assets and debts, provided the misconduct impacts the marital estate.
- Lack of Communication
Communication is vital in any relationship, especially in a marriage. Having excellent communication skills keeps both spouses feeling heard and understood, whereas a marriage lacking communication can leave both spouses feeling distant from one another and can result in their needs not being met.
- Opposing Views/Morals
Sometimes people from very different upbringings and lifestyles get married. These differences could be religious, cultural, political, and so on. Couples may not have an issue with these differences right off the bat, but they may grow apart throughout the years, especially regarding how to raise their children.
- Financial Issues
Sometimes couples divorce over money issues, whether they were done in deceit or not. Misconduct in the sense of one spouse hiding money from their spouse, gambling excessive amounts of money away, and so on, can be very stressful for both parties. Financial issues can lead to lasting effects on the spouse who was betrayed and the deceitful spouse.
- Substance Abuse
Unfortunately, sometimes couples divorce over substance abuse that has been an issue their whole lives or a new addiction. Whether it be alcohol or drugs, substance abuse can drive spouses apart and is another common reason for couples to divorce.
- Physical/Emotional Abuse
First and most importantly, it’s crucial to seek help if you are being physically or mentally abused. There are many resources in and around Kansas City, Missouri, and in and around Leawood, Kansas. These resources are available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week if you feel you need assistance.
Though people most often think of physical abuse, abuse in any relationship can also be caused by emotional trauma like a partner putting you down, controlling your life, criticizing you, etc. Couples will often get divorced if they have left an abusive marriage. If there is a history of domestic abuse, your divorce attorney needs to know about it before filing. It can affect child custody and property division in your divorce case.
Divorce happens for all kinds of reasons, with the above being some of the more common ones. If you’re curious about some other reasons why couples choose to divorce, take a look at our 4 Signs it Might be Time for a Divorce article for some helpful information.
If you are going through any family law matter and are looking for a family law attorney in Kansas (in and around the Leawood area) or a family law attorney in Kansas City and the surrounding area, we can help. We’re dedicated to the practice of family law and can help guide you through any family law matter, keeping your best interests in mind. Our team is skilled in negotiation and litigation, handling family law matters from the most complex to the most straightforward.
We have offices in Lee’s Summit, Missouri, and Leawood, Kansas (consultations by appointment only). In addition to our two physical locations, our firm’s family and divorce attorneys have practiced in Jackson, Clay, Cass, Lafayette, Platte County, Missouri, and Johnson County, Kansas. Contact our family law firm today to schedule a consultation – we can meet in person or face-to-face via Zoom.